Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize