a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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