on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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