census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
