first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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