these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
