we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
