Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
