FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i out mim tonsoeep
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