I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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