remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
