All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize