If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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