Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
