dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
