Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
