So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
