Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
