PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
