Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
