When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
