God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
