Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
