apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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