you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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