Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
