I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
