they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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