I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
