Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
