i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
