Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
sarcasm needs its own font
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
