you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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