Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
