six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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