I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
