i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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