My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
