did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
