I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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