You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
