We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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