My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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