Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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