Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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