And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think your dad took our porno
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
