You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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