Michael Bay diarrhea
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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