She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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