Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
