I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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