I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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