dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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