i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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