you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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