fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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