Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
