yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
