dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
