Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So much rum. So many feels.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
