I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
